Remember

I wish that I could remind you just how good we were

I wish that I could remember myself

I remember feeling safe

I remember feeling warm

I remember feeling

I remember laughing

Loving

But the truth of it is, I don’t remember us

I remember you

I remember wanting so much to be whole with you

Only I wasn’t whole myself

I don’t know who I was then

I tried so hard to find me with you

But I couldn’t

I was so lost

So broken

I feel so close to being me now

But I still don’t remember me with you

I just remember you

How you looked at me like I was magic

How you held me close, with out judgment

How you could already see our forever

But I couldn’t see anything

Not beyond the haze of hatred I felt for myself

A hatred that was ingrained in my soul

By a now conquered source of pain

But it wasn’t me with you

And I am so sorry

And yet…

You

I remember you

I remember countless nights with you

Tangled up with you

You right beside me (inside me)

I remember adventure

I remember feeling happy

I remember feeling protected

I remember feeling loved

I remember feeling

I remember you