Steem4nigeria Accelerator Contest Week 84: Dealing with "Frenemies"

Hello Dear Distinguish Ladies and Gentlemen, I welcome you all once again to this inspiring space ("STEEM4NIGERIA")!
It’s indeed another thrilling week, and as the saying goes that, “Not all that glitters is gold.” So in the life’s journey, we often meet those people who appear so bright on the outside but unknowingly to us hide a storm within.

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This very week, I am diving genuinely into a topic that greatly touches everyone’s heart in one way or another "Frenemies". Yes, I believe you all heard me right; those ones I'll love to identify as wolves in sheep’s clothing which all they do is smile with you during the day but sharpen their knives behind your back at the night.

• "Distinguish Let’s do well to explore this theme with depth, truth, and of course courage".

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Based on the introduction given, define "frenemy" in your own words.

Guys! Please 🙏 In my own words, a frenemy is more of someone who pretends to be your true friend but in secret do envies you or probably wants to bring you down. They always wear this mask of kindness around you, but behind it lies a subtle competition, jealousy, calculated manipulation, and ill intentions towards you. The Victim(we) trust them, share our own dreams and pains with them, only to later realize that they were really feeding off our vulnerability to destroy us from the inside.

Unlike the open enemies, frenemies are more and more dangerous because they do operate undercover, by silently poisoning the peace and progress of their victims.

Have you had any experience with such people who claim to be your friend, if yes, share with us?

Though this might be funny but let me share it out. I once had this friend during my early university years --- I'll like to call him “James.” by name here. We did almost everything together: studied, attended church, ate, and even to the extend we shared our family struggles. I so try to helped him in every way I could, both financially and emotionally as well. I really thought I had found a brother in him.

• However, I later start noticing some strange patterns. He would often leak my own private stories to others in a twisted way. He once even went behind me to ruin a Grant opportunity from my LGA which I was considered for, just by lying to the coordinator about my character. I only discovered this insane action through a mutual friend much later. It was so painful, I felt so betrayed, foolish and heartbroken 💔.

I know we all will be thinkingHow did I deal with it? Well I didn’t confront him violently but Instead, I distanced myself, i protected my space, though I'll say I forgave him in silence, but of course I learned my lesson. Today, I’m more careful with who I call a “friend.”

How can one guard ourselves against frenemies early enough before they harm us

The truth here is, frenemies don’t actually wear name tags. But certainly these are few ways I think 🤔 helps to identify and guard against them:

• Observe their reactions to your success. Do they actually celebrate you genuinely or do they go silent and cold after the whole thing!
• Test their loyalty. Indeed a true friend defends you in your absence anytime; so a frenemy will only gossips and exposes you.
• Limit your vulnerability. I know truly that if we don't overshare too soon, most especially our plans and weaknesses to people will helps a whole lot.
• Watch their patterns. If at all you keep catching them lying, alw6 betraying trust, or being overly competitive, please it's very important to take note.
• And lastly, also listen to your instincts. Your own gut feeling is often time your best early warning system.

Who is a true friend and how can you identify one?

A true friend is more of a blessing to anyone. They will always cheer you on, correct you in huge love, stand always with you in both sunshine and the storm. A true friend will always wants to see you grow, even if it do means you to go ahead of them first. You can definitely identify a true friend through that consistency, honesty, and presence, not just when things are so rosy, but even when the road is really rough.
They don’t actually compete with you; but help they complete you.

	We Pray 🙏 to be Blessed with True and Encouraging Friends

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In Conclusion

Life is so full of lessons and so one of the hardest is in learning that not everyone who calls you “friend” is actually one. But rather than we living in fear or bitterness, it's important to always become wiser, more discerning, and moreover emotionally mature. Let’s all not stop being kind please — let’s all just be cautious.

• As we do walk through the life’s journey, may we all have the grace to always identify the real friends and the courage to walk away from the fake ones around us. For what's worth in the end is that our circle should be a place of peace, not poison.
  And I'll wish to say that Let this contest entry be a genuine call to examine those hearts around us, and always above all, to always be the kind of friend we hope to have.

Do Stay safe, stay wise and may your friendships be so real, refreshing, and rewarding.
I invite @edu-chemist, @spektro223 and @ngoenyi

    «Thanks Friends for Reading»