Compassion...relieving the greatest suffering

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It was the 1960's. I was a young woman confused about life as were so many other young people at that time. The Hippie Era. Vietnam War. Peace. Free Love. Drugs. I was in college but could not study and had no desire to continue education until I could get some answers. My question was, "What is the purpose of life?"

I waited until the end of the Greek and Latin class when all the other students had left the room. I respected the teacher. He was from Ethiopia and projected a kind of aristocratic demeanor. He was sitting at this desk. I went up to him and asked my question: Could he help me to understand the purpose of life? I was not being frivolous. I was deeply disturbed and confused and wanted to hear something from him. He seemed successful and peaceful.

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He thought for a long moment or two and looked at his hands folded in front of him on the desk, "You know. I ask myself that same question. I have everything. A loving wife. Four children. Tenure at the college. Two cars. But because I don't know the answer to that question I feel like killing myself."

I approached several other people who were in positions of management, authority, etc. who seemed they might be able to give me the answers I so desperately sought.

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I was born in a Jewish family. I approached the rabbi. He told me, "You don't need to ask anyone this. You don't need a teacher. It is between you and God." But I saw hypocrisy. By him instructing me he was actually acting as a teacher. But he was telling me I don't need a teacher. So how could I accept what he was telling me? If there was truth in what he was saying he had cancelled it out. Blocked it.

I began to become hopelessly depressed. The psychedelic drugs didn't help. I was becoming more and more overwhelmed and reached a point where I could not function at all. I wouldn't talk to anyone, wouldn't bathe, wouldn't work. My parents were very, very worried about me and intervened. They committed me to the state mental hospital and I was diagnosed catatonic schizophrenic.

But it was a relief. I could just sit there and was not expected to do anything. I had determined I would not come out of this condition until the answers "came to me". What was the use of my endeavoring to find the answers. No one seemed to know anything. The answers would have to come to me.

And the answers did come. I was sexually taken advantage of by the head of the psychology department. I was scheduled for sessions with him. This was his answer to purpose of life. He was the head of the department? So much for the "sane" people there. I realized everyone is crazy. Just if you cannot maintain yourself you get locked up.

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Among the other patients there were two Jesus's and a Buddha. Satan himself was there playing cards day and night. I sat and said and did nothing. Waiting.

Finally. Compassion arrived in the form of one of the nurses. I had not seen her before and after she spoke to me I never saw her again. She wore all white and glowed with a bodily radiance that was very attractive and soothing. There was light emanating from her.

One thing that was popular in the hospital was for a patient to take their shoe off and bang on window to try to break it. It was a daily occurrence. I thought, "Here's my chance to do something like this. It's acceptable here." But I was wearing sneakers. You can't break a window with a sneaker. But I banged on a window with it anyway.

The nurse in white stopped me. She said, "Come with me." We went into the nurses' conference room. There was a long table there. I sat at one end holding the sneaker. She stood at the other end and looking very intently at me said, "There is nothing wrong with you. The only thing wrong is that you have no faith in God!"

That was it! That was the answer I had been looking for. Her words echoed and echoed and echoed. It seemed forever. "God! God! God!....."

I realized that message can only be delivered by someone who themselves has the compassion of God. The Mercy of God.

My life changed. I now knew the purpose in life. The meaning in life. To find God. To seek God in all things. Everywhere and at all times. How wonderful. A miracle for sure.

Link to contest: https://steemit.com/hive-181136/@damisvilladiego/40o-concurso-sobre-valores-la-compasion

Maybe you would like to share your insights into compassion. Invitations to: @serdak @joselynmendez @elcholitosanto @dipi2024