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RE: The triggering
Just go get hypnotized a few times then and cheat :P that should rewire the memorys and thoughts to let you progress further! I call it cheating because is working much better. Theres also a therpapy style caleed "shaking therapy" Is got a better name for it but its slipped my mind atm.
You get hypnotised and go back through all the traumas but then you start to shake physically which relesases them from us, us humans are the only mammal that doesnt shake after we experience a trauma, we do the oppersite and we freeze up..
TLP I think it might be called, but i must got get a bus soon so I cant check, and bus time is my mediation time so no looking at phones hahahah
That sounds really scary but maybe it does work. I'm reading other stuff, meditate and learning more about myself and others who have been in the same position. Just learning you know :).
Sounds good to have meditation on the bus. I sort of do the same. I listen to calm music and just chill on the bus/tram ride :)
It all comes back to breathing :) Im sure your slowly realising it too! Meditation is medication, and its free and personal, more time doing that is less time the mind has your power :)
Yes, I feel meditation helps and that I'm using music to make myself relax. I'm sensitive to sounds and can't shut it out so I kinda get panic attacks when it's too many sounds around me. I listen to meditation music on youtube before I sleep and it makes me calmer. I'm sensing and feeling the progress, sure it's slow but it's there :)