RE: Confession: I Can’t Stand Looking At Beautiful People
Take this from a guy who was looking at himself in the mirror for 10 years saying: "You are ugly". I can feel your pain because I've been there at one point in my life. Until I realized that it was my perception of myself that was actually repelling women.
The cold hard truth about women is that looks isn't in the 5 five of what attractes to a man. Confidence is at the very top of the list, closely followed by humor. I can't count how many men I've met who are obese, badly shaved and overall aesthetically unattractive get the women they want.
Women can read men like an x-ray machine from the moment you enter into a room.
I say start doing things that increase your confidence...whatever it takes. Learn how to talk with women, take humor classes and believe in yourself. You can overcome this obstacle.
I learned that being an overweight guy. I knew being unconfident was uglier than being overweight.
Well said.
Thanks for the kind words crypto. Maybe im just in a rut at the moment , a lot of uncertainty is going on with my life. It also is probably my age, girls are a lot more shallow at 23, so thats what people say anyway. Im hoping that I can become more motivated to make things better, because I know just sitting here complaining about it wont get me anywhere. I really appreciate it though.
Crypto is absolutely correct. Nothing turns a woman off faster than these three things: a serious lack of confidence, a bitter or negative attitude, and a sense of entitlement when it comes to female attention. We can smell it so we keep away because a man with those three qualities tend to be dangerous. They're either prone to anger/jealousy or they have abusive or toxic personalities. Not all young women are shallow but they--like all women--are very careful where they invest their time and emotions. If you don't think you have anything of value to offer, they will pick up on that. And by value, I'm not referring to your wallet or a fancy car. I'm referring to your character, your personality, your ability to bring joy, mutual growth, and love into a relationship.
Do you have a hobby or sport or passion? I ask because I have a young cousin who is overweight, dresses like a slob, and tends to be rather laid-back (in other words, he's on the passive side). What he does have: a great sense of humour, a kind and gentle personality, and the ability to be friends with a woman without feeling entitled to her body. His family would sometimes tease him about not having a girlfriend but he would always laugh and say, "She's taking the scenic route but she's headed my way ." He was a 24-year-old virgin when he met a woman two years ago online via his passion: video games. They met and became friends, and that friendship morphed into a romance over the course of about a year. I was at their wedding several months ago and I've never seen a happier young couple. They're not beautiful as per society's dictum but they are beautiful. You have to stop being envious of attractive people and believing that somehow their looks guarantees them deep love and great sex. It doesn't. Stop blaming your physical appearance and grow your heart. Love attracts love attracts love. Find something you love: volunteering at an animal shelter, playing chess, wilderness hiking--anything. Every day find something to love, to pour your love into, and I guarantee that love will find you but only if you have love within you to share. No love--for yourself or for others--equals no love life.
Yes an insecure guy can be dangerous at the worst. Or needy in a way that can be costly. Maybe obsessive. This man blew up my phone with texts about how I was avoiding him after I didn't text him very much when I was busy in school, over the course of a just couple days. I hadn't written him off, until that. It was insane. A year later, he texts me like nothing happens "hey how are you" and then "No interest...that bad?!" A year! It's creepy. It's shallow. He didn't even know me at all.
Very wise advise!
Simple and sound. Yes its a lot easier said than done but the point is looks are not even close to everything and even looks are improved with confidence and self love.
Great to see honest vulnerable expression and kind supportive feedback.
Grateful to be here with you all.