First Words

After the DNA test showed that I am not a bustard afterall, my father decided to make an apology to my mom and invited her back to his apartment. He made a promise that he would never ever judge her like that, and make any accusations against her. I think he was serious about it too. For her though, trust was gone. How can you fully recover that trust after this? She didn't just lost her faith in him, she lost her faith in life. But how would that effect their little baby? Well, we will see.

Those old fights between my parents before I wasn't around changed when I was around. Not in a good way. They started to fight about every little thing. Moving the couch for 1 inch was like moving the apartment to Africa. If the towel was left wet, the rain clouds were upon the apartment. They were fighting and screaming even when I was unable to understand what was going on. Which it probably affected me with some sort of psychological disease.

When I was a baby, they told me that I couldn't sleep at all. Not just nights, I was simply unable to sleep until they figure it out to put me in sleep which was ironic. I was only able to sleep with loud music. I am guessing the reason here but probably because of their screaming. In music, there are constant patterns that any intelligent being will see. But in those screamings, there was just chaos. Some might say negative energy which is bulls***. 

I don't even know where and how did I know to call the police but when I was almost a year old, while they were fighting, I was inside of some sort of showcase where we keep our home phone, some fancy cups, and stuff because from the heat of the fight my father had to put me in there. Somehow, I menage the dial that big old phone and called the police. The phone was up for almost 2 hours and the cops was hearing all the conversation because it was very serious. They called the neighbours from same the area code and manage to find our apartment. They took both of them to the police station and took their statements. Where do I know this? From various relatives and neighbours that came to visit us. I do remember that green phone tho which is the first thing I remember in my early life.

My mother was sick. She had a neurological disease. I can't really blame her or anyone in that manner because of this or the result of this on me except the people who are talking sh*t without knowing anything and all the hypocrites around them. Please do not f*cking speak about rumours and the things you are not sure of. You don't know how can be a butter fly effect for someones life. You will soon understand why...

She started beating me when I was just 4 months old. Because of her disease, she was unable to handle with a children. My father tells me that, I was not eating anything for long periot of times. The only time I eat something, there has to be other kids which they have to laugh and it needed to look like it is a kind of game. He also told me this; "You were not eating one day and there were no children to bring to the apartment to make you eat. It was evening. Your mother got very angry at you and started to force you to eat but you were crying. She pushed the spoon into your mouth several times when I was watching, I did take a piss than when I came back your mouth was covered with blood. You were puking and she was still trying to make you eat with that puke. I try to interfere but she was very angry and pushed me over. At the end she made you eat that bloody puke." In all of my child hood, I never had a day(that I know,) without getting beaten by my mother. 

As a baby, I was very intelligent. I was always intelligent until life made me dumb enough to keep my mouth shut but anyways. From both of my mother and my father, I learned that when I was 13 months old we were on a visit to one of our relatives. I spoke my first words. Not just a word but words. That was unbelievable for me, So, I asked those relatives to confirm this and they did. Do you want to know what I have said? "Let's go home" The place that where I got beaten everyday but still loved it. (Actually it was in my language with just 2 words instead of three. )

 I know that nobody will care but if someone accidentally starts to care, every day another part will come.