Defining the ‘sexpat’

Defining the sexpat.

Image Source: Doug’s Republic

Enough confusion already arises when discussing the word ‘expat.’ But there is a portmanteau based term out there that is yet even more controversial, the ‘sexpat.’ But what is it really?

Many confuse the term sexpat with that of ‘sex tourist;’ which although similar is not quite the same. Also, to confuse matters even further, the term is thrown around rather casually and possibly even in many instances, incorrectly applied. It may appear that it even originates from expatriate communities in Asia as a sort of transnational construct that has little value elsewhere (Maher and Lafferty, 2014, pg. 435). Of course, for most readers it is not such a meaningless term at all; you may personally know a sexpat, have on occasion been called a sexpat, or maybe you really are just a massive sexpat. Then this is for you.

The key difference between the sex tourist and the sexpat may be timescales and intentions. A sex tourist will visit for a limited time to engage in prostitution in a country with economic or legal conditions that can easily be exploited in their favour. Sexpats lack a concrete definition to identify them correctly, but it is commonly assumed that they are unable to get laid back in their home country but may be seeking more meaningful interactions and relationships with women that are not necessarily prostitutes and would be more exotic and desirable than the women available to them in their home country.

Who it is that can be labelled a sexpat is also up for debate. Sexpats may indeed be perverted monsters preying upon vulnerable people in the third world; yet these probably only represent a small majority of those labelled as sexpats. Most are probably not so aesthetically beautiful, socially awkward, not so financially successful but otherwise good and decent people that are in effect, sexual refugees that may not so much be seeking the short-term thrills of easy sex, but also marriage to a nice lady that would be considered totally out of the league in their home country. Others are those that would be considered desirable wherever they go; but just happened to hit the jackpot by landing in a place where plentiful new and exotic dating options have suddenly been made available to them. These are three entirely different varieties of people, yet all will often be tarred with the same brush.

‘Sexpat behaviour’ is said to refer to the corrosive culture of expats and the associated bad sexual behavior (Chiu, 2018) resulting from being freed from the moral expectations that would otherwise be placed upon them by their family or local community back home. Yet, it could also be argued that sexpats do not specifically target certain environments to seek pleasure or love; rather it is the environment that shapes them. Expatriate assignments can take a huge toll on family life and temptations can arise that may be too hard for some to resist under such circumstances. Sexpats are perhaps, not born but made.

When a term is so vaguely defined, it is not wonder that is randomly thrown in a such a way that it could even be used to describe most of China’s male expat population. Do sexpats exist? Maybe. Do all foreign men that date local women deserve to be branded with such a label? Not at all.

It must also be noted that some of the most prolific users of the term of expats of the opposite gender who take out their frustration faced when dealing with the intricacies of entering an unfamiliar foreign dating scene, by applying such labels to those men that have dared to venture away from their own race when it comes to dating. Some of the new breeds of beta-orbiter, soyboy male expats may also throw the term around in the hope of placating the local female expat population. One could also consider that when they are using the term to describe not only evil sexual predators, but also those that are able to find love or at least enjoy a good sex life despite being losers back home; one should also wonder about the insecurities of the accusers.

These are people that kick people when they are down, rather than encouraging them to become winners by whatever means necessary. We all know that those people that do not like winning, are the world’s greatest losers. It is probably those people that we should all openly criticise, even more so than the clear majority of supposed sexpats.

References:

Hill Maher, Kristen & Lafferty, Megan. (2014). White migrant masculinities in Thailand and the paradoxes of Western privilege. Social & Cultural Geography. 15. 10.1080/14649365.2014.893703.

Chiu, J. (2018). Sexpat Journalists Are Ruining Asia Coverage. [online] Foreign Policy. Available at: https://foreignpolicy.com/2018/05/18/sexpat-journalists-are-ruining-asia-coverage/