Raptor, A Collection of Poems
fuel
trapped in the clear blue empty sky
farsighted, hot-headed
sacred
love quickens
love compels me
to dive
to pierce
to kill
hush
she
no haggard
but caught, valiant
in an unseen snare
and no bloody end
no
jessed instead
hooded instead
waiting
breathing
listening
rapt
uncle
a day old chick
is offered me
I, still wild
tethered to your wrist and hungry
refuse
we wait while you wake me
bullies
wings and wine and wild things
disturb my afternoon nap
genuine, unkind wild things
shift their weight
then linger
the brutes
I rise to greet them
a conquistador vanquished
a lover lost
my stomach growling
I rise
In looking through my older works, I found these which I had forgotten about. I wrote them about ten years ago when I was considering taking up falconry. Falconry turned out to be too much work for me (holy cow is it a lot of work!) and I got chickens instead, but I am still fascinated by the art.
Ohhh.... these are excellent. I love how minimal and abstract they are! I'm able to feel them immediately on the first read without needing to think what they're about, then re-reading brings the subject into clearer relief.
I feel that "bullies" is the best example of that. There's paradoxical emotion that resolves in the decision to rise. Upon re-reading, one gets a sense that it is the dense vagaries of physical life that are bullying, threatening one's peace. Definitely a fitting conclusion to this collection and contains a sense of finality where the others lift, unresolved, into surprise at their end.
Thanks so much for the close read and superb comment! I was surprised by how much I still like these, and didn't have to change a single thing before publishing them today. I remember working a very long time on each bit, including researching and watching birds of prey swoop about. It makes me very happy to hear that they had a positive effect for you.
Beautiful poetry, @owasco. What powerful creatures. I love how you captured the subtleties of the bird’s temperament, and that he is more than just a predator. We can identify with him In his moment of defiance against his captor.
The falcon is present, without being named. Lovely. I guess that's what minimalist poetry can do: create energetically. You've clearly conveyed the presence of that bird (especially in the first poem), but that presence is in a space beyond the words. Far more powerful than a precise description could ever be.
Wow! Thanks! Saying the ineffable is the primary function of poetry for me, so that's a cool comment, the best. Have you tried haiku? Keep an eye out on @bananafish's haiku contest in English, which should be popping up soon. That there is stating both the obvious and the ineffable in very few syllables and is a major rush.
I have tried haiku, and I'm far from mastering it! I'll definitely watch for that contest.
Thanks for the cross post! That's pretty cool! And you can do that after payout? Does it have to have been published in a community?
Ta da!
https://steempeak.com/haikucontest/@bananafish/mizu-no-oto-every-image-has-its-haiku-edition-47-english
These inspired me to write !
Thank you 🙏🏻
Posted using Partiko iOS
It's my pleasure! Check out @mariannewest for daily freewrite prompts and good friends. Welcome.
OMG I love these verses from a raptor's POV!!!
Powerful and compelling:
Wow! and this:
And "the brutes" - high impact AND humorous.
You are inspired! I love this! and the final lines - forgive me, was I not supposed to laugh? - the conquistador, stomach growling - seem such a humbling, human touch. I love it. Love it! You are on a roll @owasco!
Thank you honey bunch! It's one of my favorites. I really do think this one said what I wanted it to say. I was going to continue because I never got to actually being flown, or used to hunt, or returned to their perch, or the longing for freedom that I imagine they feel, or the love of their human. there's so much more!
#posh https://twitter.com/tea_in_carolina/status/1233020734982754305
Are we still supposed to post proof of Twitter shares? what is the point in doing this...?
I've stopped. It got me nothing
I would have missed this! That would have been sad... I am interested in hacking micro stanzas and the punchy weight.
Such profoundness in between the minimalised sentences.
They are a lot of work actually. I think each of these took me at least a month to write. Words would come in my dreams; I think "hush" did.
Writing haiku is a super rush, maybe you would like this contest: https://steempeak.com/haikucontest/@bananafish/mizu-no-oto-every-image-has-its-haiku-edition-47-english
xo
I have never mastered micro and minimal writes. Haikus and this kinda poetry are genres I have had to read on other's poets timelines like yours.
Will give it a try though not sure I will post it though 😁
Each session has a theme that some of us try to learn. This one is about a form called haibun. It doesn't really matter if you write a haibun though. Just start. It's a great group, no pressure, like a great haiku.
It's interesting the challenges writers throw at me. You sound like @raj808 or @chinyerevivian right now! I accept this challenge for once though :D
If I fail, (which the anxiety of accepting a challenge I do miserably is letting me know that I will) it's all your faults!
There's no such thing as a failed haiku. I hope you like it. It is my favorite thing to do on steem.
Congratulations @owasco!
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Energetic feeling of raptors life in haiku, short and exceptionally descriptive.
You capture the very essence in this format of writing, well done!
Thanks so much!
Love these! It's fun rediscovering pieces we've written and forgot about. Sometimes it's not clear right away what we were thinking then; what was going on... and then it all comes back.
Yes! All of it. I've been culling photographs. I have GAZILLIONS of photographs because both my hubby and his father would take 40 shots of every moment. Most of them mean nothing to me - the photos usually do not jog my memory. But a poem! Now that can bring if all back.