should i be unhappy?

Does this yellow rose look lonely and forlorn?

My introvert lifestyle was under fire this weekend. Instead of living my Los Angeles life cruising with a gaggle of girls chasing a scene, I've been living a happy standalone life. I write letters and texts to busy friends, enjoy one on one catch up sessions over drinks or a meal every week, and oftentimes get invited to join my students and their families for dinner after a piano lesson. Life has never been lonely nor loveless. I sometimes enjoy a night out on a date. Last one sang a Michael Buble song while out at a karaoke bar. He sang so well, he got respect from the guys that were trying to chat me up. Introverts don't live lonely lives they just wisely pick and choose who to share their time with.

Playing catch up with M during a phone call was a contentious event. He was exasperated and I was surprised. It seems I should be unhappy. I'm a single woman that is wasting away my life. Gah....

I didn't appreciate being told that I should feel lonely.

JNET: "M, I'm not slumming it. I live in a nice place, in a nice neighborhood. I'm loved and respected by friends and family..."

M: "So, you're happy with your status quo? You shouldn't be living with a roommate. You're not getting any younger. You should be at bars and cafes making friends."

JNET: "I'll go with friends or to an organized Meetup but I won't be the local regular who hangs out solo at bars. I'm not that person. You're an extrovert. You enjoy meeting strangers. Also, having a roommate for me means less drama from guys. No stalkers and weirdos trying to knock on my door when they know a dude may open it. When and if I meet someone that can live with me, I have no problem telling my roommate that I met someone I want to get serious and play house with."

Maybe M drank too much coffee. Maybe he was mad because his latest crush fell through. I had to throw on the brakes and sober him up. My extrovert best friend who's known me for a long while felt my introvert lifestyle was ruining me.

Status quo, status quo. It was his new phrase that he was throwing around. It wasn't a good fit on me for the context he was imposing. The Latin meaning of "status quo" translates to "the existing state of affairs". Somehow, in M's mind, I can't be content and grateful for my life as it is without being anti-progressive.

If I want to be considered "progressive", I need to feel angry that life isn't the way it should be and have a ready explanation of how I am working to change my life. Being happy with how my life is is to embrace a "status quo" and is unhealthy. M thought he was doing me a loving favor in saying I live a fearful life and that he was saving me from myself and misery.

I can't believe I had to argue with someone who insisted I was unhappy with MY life.

In the end, I told him he couldn't tell me whether I was happy with my life or not and that confiding any upsets in my life wasn't necessarily a plea for help. I may want to vent or simply update him on my life.

And ten years from now, I don't think I will have any regrets that I will be crying over. I don't have any current regrets that are eroding me presently. I've enjoyed living my life on my terms and being honored by others for choosing to do so.

Should I be unhappy?

Pfffftt.

JNET