I'd rather hear the truth, even if it's bad!
Like most people, I usually share my happy moments in my posts. However, life is not always a process filled with happiness. I feel sad today. Exposure of one to another can be both a great happiness and a very painful sadness. What a contrast!
I found out that someone I trust has been lying to me for 4 and a half months. It was a huge disappointment and shock. Being able to trust someone wasn't hard before, but it started to get harder over time. Each disappointment is like an obstacle that makes it harder to trust people. Therefore, when someone shakes my confidence, I feel sad because my threshold for trusting all people will increase.
Lies, lies, lies... There was such a song, I will find it and add it under the post. I learned the lie of the person I trusted by chance on social media. If there is anything worse than a lie, it is learning it from someone else, not the owner of the lie.
I've always been a proponent of confrontation and conversation. That's why I told him clearly that I knew his lie. He started to create excuses, unfortunately, they were excuses that damaged the seriousness and depth of our conversation. In fact, he was fooling himself. I think the most dangerous thing in lying is firstly deceiving yourself. The person who deceives himself is blind and deaf. That person can neither perceive his surroundings nor evaluate his own situation.
Lies give birth lies. Other lies are produced that are associated with the main lie. This is the way the lie grows. As a result, the owner of a lie causes an avalanche of snowballs. I will use too many metaphors for the lie because it is not enough for me to describe it in simple words.
A lie is like a snake that slowly envelops you and, as time passes, makes you feel uncomfortable and eventually strangulates you. I mean, it's pricks of conscience. What worried me was that he had said that he did not feel any conscientious discomfort about his lie. This means normalizing the lie. It's a terrible cycle! It is a cycle in which he will get lost first...
He told me that human is dirty and he is dirty. I said No. Human is not dirty, but the bad behaviors they choose consciously pollute them. You chose the lie, I didn't choose that. At that time, I said that not all people are dirty, but those who choose lies.
Some people choose to hide it or delay telling it, thinking that they will get an unwanted reaction about their actions. This is the beginning of the chaos.
They hide the truth, thinking that the truth will harm their friendship or relationship. When the lie is exposed, its effect is multiplied by the time it is hidden. The lie he told so that our friendship would not be damaged had broken the back of our friendship and this friendship would no longer be able to walk.
I feel resentful, sad and disappointed. Whatever friendship or relationship is, it's a story, and the conclusion is just as important as the beginning and development parts. In fact, the most remembered is the conclusion part. Endings are important. I hope you didn't leave at least a bad ending to everyone whose life you touched.
I pour out my heart, so I relaxed a bit.
Yes, I am also one of those users who primarily post positive things and leave out negative experiences. I always think, "Who wants to read something like that?" There were even phases in my life when I avoided my friends when I was feeling bad: "I can't just whine all over my friends, I can't just dump negative energy on them!" This thinking is wrong! Friends are there for you in good times and bad, if they are really friends. And often they are able to improve your mood significantly because they can see the situation from a different perspective.
This is also the case here! Your disappointment is totally understandable. But be glad that you have recognised the lies - you won't fall for the friend anymore, you won't let him take advantage of you anymore. You have been given a chance, you have learned a lot. And if writing it down makes you feel better, you've done everything right!
Have a nice sunny day,
Chriddi
I had the same thoughts you said. My purpose while writing the post was to feel getting lighter by sharing my feelings. I was very touched to see that my feelings and thoughts were read and commented on. You are so right that sharing all moods is also included in friendship. Reading the comments here and feeling that support means a lot.
You mentioned luck, I hadn't thought of that perspective before. As you said, this situation taught me so much that I gained an experience that maybe I could not possibly have by reading. Your comment is very precious. It feels strong not to feel alone, thank you very much 🌷
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings.
You are right. Real life also includes sad moments. That's why stories like this also belong here.
And by the way, it frees you a little from the sad thoughts.
I was thinking about whether I should write here or not, and I said if this account reflects me, I am also in this story and I can write. That's why I felt better after reading your comment. Writing and sharing as you said relaxes my mind. Your support made me feel better, thanks a lot 🌼
You are welcome!
I despise liars and all the other games they play, sounds like you are better off without this person.
At least you found out after 4 month not 4 years.
Big hugs from me & Smudge to you
You're right, it would be much more suffering to realize the lie too late. Thank you so much for your and Smudge's support, it means a lot 🌸
Ne yazık ki yalan söylenmesi sadece o iki kişi arasındaki güveni sarsmıyor. Hayatımıza sonradan girecek kişilere güvenimiz de sarsılıyor😐
Steemit genelde pozitif olayları paylaştığımız bir platform ama hayat bu maalesef can sıkıcı olaylar çoğunlukta bazen onları paylaşıp içini dökmek de kişiye iyi geliyor.
Haklısın en kötü etkisi de hayatımızın devamını kalıcı bir iz bırakarak etkiliyor oluşu. Hepimiz mutlu içerikler görmek ve paylaşmak istiyoruz elbette ama bu tarz içerikler yalnız olmadığımızı hatırlatıyor ve bu destek iyi hissettiriyor.
Umarım şimdi daha iyi hissediyorsundur🥰🙏🏻
İyiyim çok teşekkürler 💕
What makes me sad about a situation like this is to learn there is a liar ( a soul that might be suffering). Can he be helped?
I agree with you, this is another trouble. He said that he did not ascribe much meaning to life and did not take it seriously, so he did not care about some things. I think, lying is not related to not taking life seriously, it is an element that harms basic concepts such as respect, self-respect, truth, and consciousness. That's what I said, and I wanted him to think about it. He said he'd think about it, I won't know what's next. I hope he thinks hard about all and this lie will be the last for him. He won't be in my life anymore, but I hope he solves this problem for his future.
Thank you for your comment 🌸
I think it was good of you telling him your point of view. I'm not a psicologist and don't know what has to be done, but I like yout try.
Thank you 😊
Sorry, to hear you feel sad.
Nearly everyone lies and we live in a lie especially the past two years made that clear.
I learned not to expect too much from people and if you don't ask for answers, don't suppose it is as you want it to be, plan and do what is good for you the world still is a great place.
It's really hard to trust people. Unfortunately, the lie of a trusted person is the deepest disappointment. Thank you so much for your comment and good advice 🌺
Science proved more than once that those most close to us lie, cheat on us most. Why? Because we never expect them to do so which is alarming and a sign. I mean if we trust those close differetntly because ??? do they start behaving different, try how far they get like little children or
Stay strong by choosing for you and never believe all people are honest and no one lies.
A lovely day to you. 🍀🍀🍀
This is definitely a point of perspective (idea) to ponder over. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and information 😊🌸
Thank you, dear friend. All the best to you.
hi @enveng,
It is sad to read stories that end badly but as you say it well, not everything is happiness but it does not end here either, it remains as a life experience and believe me that the other person who lied to you does not feel good at all, there really are people who do damage for some encounter an adventure and do not know how much damage they do to the other person who trusts them so much trust is fragile as a silk thread that holds you from falling off a cliff is so. much strength friend that you recover soon from that situation good luck.
Hi @laser145, you're right, unfortunately, some people don't even realize how much damage they are doing. As you say, although this is sad, it gives experience. Thank you very much for your support 💐
Söylediklerinde o kadar haklısın ki ve en azından geç olmadan değil de daha yolun başındayken öğrendin bunun için kendini biraz şanslı hissetmelisin. Diliyorum ki karşına hep kalbin gibi temiz insanlar çıkar. Çünkü mutluluğu hak edenlerden birisin ❤️
Sanırım böyle durumlarda dediğin gibi daha da geç olmadan öğrenmek bir şans oluyor. Güzel sözlerin için çok teşekkür ederim, umarım hepimizin etrafı yalansız olur 💕
Umarım ❤️
Merhaba canım ; nasılsın ? Yazını okuyunca biraz kötü hissettim. sanki aynı duyguları yaşamışız gibi.. bu yüzden seni anlayabiliyor yada ne hissetiğin konusunda empati yapabiliyorum. senin yüreğinin güzel olduğuna nedense sebepsiz inanıyorum. o yüzden bu kayıp senin kaybın değil inan. hayatta senden daha değerlisi yok . bunu bende geç farkettim. kendine ve yüreğine haksızlık etme yoluna bakmanı tavsiye ederim .
Tekrar konuşmak iletişime geçmek istersen ;
https;//t.me/Svm038
Merhaba iyiyim, umarım sen de iyisindir. Benzer durumları yaşamış olmana üzüldüm. Aynen yaşayan çok daha iyi anlayabiliyor. Benim hakkımda söylediğin güzel sözler için teşekkür ederim böyle bir düşüncen olduğunu bilmiyordum memnun oldum. Desteğin ve duyarlılığın için çok teşekkür ederim 🌸
I think the problem is the more we experience something the more we create it and then it’s an endless cycle. Try affirming over and over everyone you meet and hang out with is honest. These things rly help reprogramme our inside which then reflects on the outside
Hi, I hadn't thought of it from this perspective before. I will think about what you said and try it, thank you very much 🌷